It’s been a hectic, stressful few weeks, so I did what any rational person would do: I made a rash decision to change my hairstyle. I booked a last minute appointment and chopped off a few inches, using these photos as inspiration. I’ve had my hair all different lengths, so it’s not completely insane, but even as I sat in the stylist’s chair, I kept flashing on that old saying about not making big hair changes during periods of stress. Anyway, what’s done is done. The beauty of hair is that it always grows back!
I read this quote on Sho and Tell this morning and it resonated with me all day long:
Anytime you’re gonna grow, you’re gonna lose something. You’re losing what you’re hanging onto to keep safe. You’re losing habits that you’re comfortable with, you’re losing familiarity.
— James Hillman
That’s it. I’ve lost my safety net this year. It’s not the hair. That’s just one tiny symbol of the bigger picture. I’m learning everything from scratch at work, all on my own. The good? When I want to try something or to experiment or to take on a new type of event or project, no one tells me no. The bad? I have no one instructing me on how to do it. I’m succeeding or failing all by myself. I have a staff that I love, but I don’t have a mentor. The freedom is exhilarating and terrifying. I’m finding strength I didn’t know I had but I’m also realizing that I’m intensely vulnerable. I’ve burst into tears at work at least four times in the past few months. That’s more than I cried in the twelve years I had my last job, though overall I’m happier now than I ever was then. It’s just that everything is new. Everything is strange and unfamiliar.
I’m scheduled to be on the news this Friday promoting our California Bookstore Day events, another first. Rocking my new hair, just to make me even more nervous! Wish me luck…
P.S. I loved this blog post on changing careers. Jenna is so often on a similar wavelength (though always more eloquent).