I fought the idea of permanently living in San Diego for so many years. The first few years we lived here, I was convinced this was just a temporary holding spot until we moved back to Los Angeles or up to San Francisco. As the years went by and J started a master’s program and then his doctorate, then we bought a house, then I got pregnant, I started to realize we were becoming more and more tied to this city. I have a very oppositional personality, so as soon as I felt I was stuck here, I was increasingly convinced we needed to move, that J was “forcing” me to stay here long-term against my will. Writing that now, after such a stunningly gorgeous winter weekend, it sounds pretty silly.
The truth is, though I still dream of a few other cities I’m sure could make me very happy (Portland and San Francisco, I’m talking about you. Seattle got booted off the list after I read this book that totally skewered it!) I have started to fall just the tiniest bit in love with San Diego. It’s such a warm, pretty, easy place to live. And the beer! I truly love the craft beer. Sure, it’s expensive, and the ratio of cute indie boutiques to enormous box stores isn’t quite to my liking, but it’s also possible at any moment to take the afternoon off and be at a huge, clean beach, book in hand, within just a few minutes. There’s something to be said for that…
P.S. I had so much fun taking my big camera with me yesterday. I’m taking an all-day intensive photography workshop this coming weekend, so that I will finally understand how to use the manual settings on my camera. Can’t wait.
* This is Why We Live Here, Part One- totally not fair that it was only 2 years ago and I look so young!!
I have fought every place I have lived since I moved away from my hometown. It’s strange. I still do it here, convinced this is a stepping stone to where I really belong, but I don’t know where I really belong! Sometimes I think it is sort of a defense mechanism because I have a fear that one day we will have to move for Eric’s job. If I never really connect with the area I live, then it will be easier to leave it behind.
I know how you feel. Really. I always think SF is my perfect place but when we’re there I find reasons to pick it apart. Much as I do here!
Oh, and one more thing, I swear the aging process has picked up some momentum over the last couple of years. I look SO much younger in pictures from two years ago too!
1) You still look “so young”.
Truly – you’re so photogenic and have a beautiful smile!
2) I didn’t want to live here either at first. After having spent 2 blissful years in Spain followed by 3 whirlwind but exhilarating years in Washington, D.C., to arrive in San Diego was strange. Frustrating too, when we started to get out and about and I realized there was no real cultural circuit here (certainly not within the ranks of what we’d had back East). To attend gallery viewings and operas alongside people wearing flip flops nearly sent me packing! Lack of mass transit meant sitting in traffic in our SUV alongside everyone else. And the grid of suburbs bookended by malls and chain stores made my brain hurt. The good: warm, sunny skies; bountiful fresh produce and great fish tacos.
3) 7.5 years in, this place has really grown on me and I could see us living here for a good long time…forever? Not sure. But I love the climate, the ocean, and the carefree vibe has made me loosen up a bit. I appreciate the simple things so much more. We bought a house, we have awesome neighbors. We live 3 miles from the beach. Life is good. And this summer, I attended my first symphony in flip flops. Outdoor “Summer Pops” which, by way of the venue location, lent itself to casual footwear. You won’t catch me in sandals and jeans at the Civic Center just yet!
Thanks, April
And as for your comment, I love that it’s growing on you. Me too, for many of the same reasons. The lack of culture is a sticking point for me, though it’s so much better than even 5 years ago! I have hopes things are moving in the right direction. And the casual, outdoor vibe really is nice…
Erin – you are looking buff! Lookin’ good mama! We would love to move to the bay area, but our little community by the beach keeps us locked in. It’s so hard to leave the friendships we have established and our mile ride to the beach, but then I hop on the 405 and am quickly reminded why I have a love/hate relationship with this city
Every time I pass that part of the 405 I think of you and everyone else I know who lives near there and shudder!! I hate the LA driving, love so many other things.
And it’s Crossfit!! The trick is being toned but not ending up like Madonna
I am compelled to comment on this, as I grew up in a family that moved frequently – at least compared to many families. I attended six different schools in three states between kindergarten and high school, and have lived in several states since then. My mother did not like moving, and was desperately unhappy in nearly every place we lived, which I observed throughout my childhood. Out of rebellion, I decided that I would love to move, and …surprisingly…really did end up loving every new place I lived…my assumption is that each new place will be better in some respect than the last. Over time, this has proven to be true!
So, I’m glad that you are trying to relax and enjoy the best parts about San Diego, while still envisioning some even better new place(s) in the future.
At the very least, maybe thinking along the lines that you are- longer stays in other places, like Paris for 6 months or something like that
These photos are beautiful, especially that last one. I thought I was the only one who picked apart the places where I live and didn’t allow myself to feel completely settled. I have often felt (and called myself) a gypsy because every two years I want to pick up and move. Though, I have been in Long Beach for over ten years now. Not in the same home, mind you, but still. I think I’m making progress.
“This is why we live here.” – I uttered those very words to someone last week when it was a beautiful 80 degrees and nothing but sunshine all around us. It really doesn’t get much better.