Before I left on my vacation to Minnesota, I made several last-minute trips to the mall to pick up “necessities”: shorts, striped tank tops, and sandals. I had a few specific items on my list, thanks to the many fashion blogs and magazines I read, namely baggy boyfriend jeans and tiny denim cut off shorts. Both, I thought, would be perfect for long days on the lake. After trying on many pairs of jean shorts, I settled on a pair that was flattering, trendy and not shockingly short. I was about to pay for them when it occurred to me that instead of paying $40 for these, I could just go home and cut up my own jeans. Later that night, scissors in hand, reality hit…if I made my own jean shorts at age 13, was it ok for me to be doing it all over again 20 years later? As the saying goes, if you wear a trend the first time around, you probably shouldn’t wear it when it comes back again. Right?
A combination of circumstances has led to this age/fashion confusion: reading the aforementioned blogs which are almost all created by childless women under 30, working from home where I’m free to wear bright denim or workout clothes to my heart’s content, and society’s view on ageing. If 40 is the new 20, then what in the world should a 33-year-old mother of two be wearing?
This year I finally made the (wise) decision to stop shopping at Forever 21, but truthfully, the styles I see at Nordstrom or Madewell aren’t terribly different than those at teen stores, they are just more expensive. When I was growing up, all of my friends’ moms had the same “mom haircut” and their non-work clothes were khakis and sweater sets or high-waisted jeans with sweatshirts. Now, I see moms at pick up wearing Juicy Couture sweatsuits or Lululemon yoga pants. What are the rules? And is there an age limit? I keep thinking to myself, “By 35, I probably should stop wearing little dresses from Urban Outfitters.” But if I still look good in them, are they fair game?
Curious what you all think. Are there shops you find more appropriate for those of us over 30? Where do you find clothes that are more Jessica Alba, less Miley Cyrus? Please share!
I say wear what makes you comfortable, but we were joking at lunch yesterday that we are probably going to getting carded at Brass Plum soon (as in we are too old to shop there). I do know that in college my roomate’s mom (in her 50′s at the time) was wearing halter tops and spaghetti strap tanks when she would go out to dinner with us. She had an amazing body, but her skin was aging and it just felt wrong. I, personally, wouldn’t wear cut offs, but I don’t really wear shorts because there aren’t really any that look good on my short legs. I wear a lot of dresses in the summer, some probably not meant for the 35-year old mom of 2, but I don’t care. I wear what I feel comfortable in.
I agree with Melissa. Wear what feels comfortable and and what you think suits you (your body, your mood, your personality). I have been thinking of buying cut offs, but honestly feel more comfortable in dresses when it is hot. I still buy most of my dresses at urban outfitters, but try to accessorize with “older” looking items (subtle jewelry, belts, leather sandals). Of course the addition of a toddler always makes me feel a bit older as well
Melissa and Jennifer said it best, “wear what makes you comfortable.” Also, wear what compliments your body. I think you could definitely pull off cut offs. I am wearing cut offs as I type this…With any shorts, I just make sure they’re not too short because, well, that would make me feel uncomfortable.
I think the ones in the first photo are perfect, just the right length.
I do a lot of my shopping at J.Crew because of the quality and because their pieces are on trend, but not trendy. Like you, I really can’t pull off F21 (or even H&M) anymore because of the quality and trendy factor. As always, great food for thought, Erin.
This is awesome. I was just thinking the other day, am I not allowed to wear miniskirts anymore? I am 32 with two kids and love to rock the short cut offs. Why not? My mom is 58 and still does (although she lives on a farm and thus is not prancing around downtown in them) but still. I figure, if Gwenyth can wear it, so can I
i’ll shop anywhere and everywhere… i think mixing the cheapie (but cute) tank with the higher quality (more expensive) jeans, with the thrift store belt, and the h&m/urban outfitters/f21…. bracelet is the fun part about style. (& much more affordable)
In answer to the title question of the post: 30 is the limit. Just my opinion, but there it is. I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing cut-offs or short-shorts at my current age of 40. Aside from the fact that I also don’t find them comfortable, I am also a bit more conservative and not cool with showing a lot of skin in public.
As for where to shop, I favor Black Market White House, Ann LOFT and Ann Taylor, ModCloth.com and Nicole Miller… maybe an occasional item from Anthropologie (on sale, natch). I’m not a trendy dresser either and prefer to wear things I truly enjoy and that look good on me, vs. what InStyle is touting as the latest and greatest.
Everyone is different, of course. Case in point: my 55 year old neighbor is slim and attractive, yet wears cropped jeans with sparkly rhinestones on them, low-cut tops and platform sandals. Not my style, but to each their own!
I asked this same question at a girls dinner last year. I had just seen the cutest spread in Lucky on cut offs. I am the same way – if I did it before, then maybe I shouldn’t do it again. And you know I rocked cut offs in every color back in the 90′s. Which is another issue…I AM revisiting colored denim again. But I digress…
The resounding response was that yes, I was too old (32 at the time) and that yes, I was crazy for even considering it! Now some have relaxed their stand this year the more this trend hangs around.
So, I think you can do upscale cutoffs if they are part of a well styled outfit. And when you find said shorts and put together said outfit please post here so we can see and be inspired!
You all are so funny- so many different opinions on this! I see myself wearing them during the summer, to the beach maybe, or bbq’s. Probably not out at night w/heels or anything. I just wonder if anyone realizes when they make the slide from looking like a hip young mom over to looking like a Real Housewife!
The only fashion rules I have are (1) wear what makes you feel confident and comfortable and (2) smile. I think cut offs work for any age, and if you find a cute dress at Forever 21 or Urban Outfitters that looks good on you and you love it, then buy it.
(Also, you’re not really 35, are you? You don’t look it. I kept placing you at like 29-31. Even with the kids. So maybe that means you can get away with even more than you think you can?)
I’m 33
But I’ll take 29 any day!
I’m guessing the cutoffs you wore at 13 might be different than what you’d wear today! I shop all over the place and would rock cutoffs if I felt comfortable in them, but I don’t like the way I look in ANY kind of shorts. You could totally pull it off. I love outfit number two, btw!
I saw a really cute pair of “destroyed” cutoffs on pintrest . I was going to try and make them but saw a really cute pair at Khols in the juniors dept. Wore them in Hawaii …felt cute! I’m 43.5
You could rock cutoffs! I’m also 33 and I follow the rule that you can’t show everything. So I can show back or cleavage or leg (if I can rock it) but o ly one at a time to keep it classy.
I’m turning 40 in a couple of weeks and I’ve decided I’m going to wear whatever I want! That said, I hope I’ll always be smart enough to wear what complements my body type and (hopefully) decent level of sophistication!